Couples Counselling
We get into fights all the time! I am so tired of these patterns. We just want to enjoy our relationship.
Change is Possible
Humans are innately hardwired to relate and the intimate connection between two romantically loving individuals are one of the most intimate of attachments.
“When people feel loved, they are free-er, more alive, and more powerful than we can ever imagine”
~ Sue Johnson (Founder of Emotion-Focused Therapy)
We are here to help you work through the painful differences you might be facing. Difficulties in relationships are often more than just communication problems. They can stem from early learning in life, usually from the families of origins. These learnings might have served each person well at one time, but in the current context of their lives, they are causing pain. Examples of learnings we carry from our families of origin include how we express our needs, our relationship to emotions, what we experience as love, our relationship with money, and how we respond to conflict.
One particular pattern, called the pursuer-withdrawer, is often seen in therapist offices. One person in the relationship, the pursuer, would complain about how the other does not care enough about them or is not stepping up to the plate in family responsibilities. This partner would persistently be on the other’s case, all while feeling increasingly isolated and unloved. The other party would often be withdrawn and shutdown. When asked to respond to the accusations, it is not uncommon for them to shrug and retort that they are trying their best but it is never good enough. They often feel guilt-ridden, misunderstood, and are at the point of giving up. Both persons have learned their ways of coping with differences and conflict long before their current relationship - one confronts, the other runs. If we are describing your relationship, we want to tell you that change is possible with the help of your therapist.
Regardless of where you are in your relationship, we can provide a safe and supportive space to help couples explore similarities and differences with a focus on finding solutions while de-escalating blame. We pragmatically help couples to move away from focusing on who is right or wrong. Instead, we foster an awareness of patterns of relating that no longer work and the development of skills for building intimacy and effective conflict resolution. At every step, you will be guided to identify unhealthy patterns, develop effective solutions, and build unique rituals that sustain a healthy relationship going forward.
Book a 20-min complimentary consultation here.